I can’t breathe

Breathe my son, you’ll be alright...

When I asked for things, my mom said, “breathe”

When I got angry, my mom said, “breathe”

When they took my dad, my mom said, “breathe”

I breathe, and breathe, all my life

For all the stops, frisks and arrests

For all the sorrows and sufferings

For all the toils and tribulations

For all the injustice dwelled on me

I breathe, and breathe, all my life

Breathe no more!!! they yelled

They pinned me down and blocked my breath

A block from where my mom lives

Resist! Resist! they screamed

Do I dare to resist?

Do I care to resist?

Let them take my breath away

“Breathe” my mom, you’ll be alright

Suresh Jayaprasad

May 30, 2020

Drishyam movie review

The mothers are deservingly remembered, and the fathers, I believe, warrant a greater level of appreciation.

As when a child is born, a mother is also born and the father is overlooked. Gone are his days of unlimited freedom, binge drinking, and occasional hangouts with friends. He soon unknowingly assumes the role of a provider and a protector. He realizes his new responsibility that comes at the cost of his freedom. He stares at his newborn face and realizes that her destiny solely depends on his future actions. He is no longer a free spirit who often took liberties even with liberty itself.

For the rest of his life, he fights a lonely battle. He confronts the uncertainties of his career, financial challenges, issues relating to his aging parents, and keeping up with myriad demands from family and friends. He may deliberately turn his eye away from a friend who is in dire financial need, avoid a visit to his hometown to see his aging parents and a much-needed personal time. He no longer craves an occasional drink or a romantic night with his dear wife. Priorities have changed for him and his needs are often placed in the waiting queue.

I see that anguish and agony on my fellow men. Be it an undocumented immigrant climbing a border wall, a dad anxiously strolling outside a hospital aisle, or a man who attends a job interview. I can see him through his eyes, I can hear him through his heartbeat, I can sense him through his feelings. He is my companion and we both commute together. I get distressed reading about child abuse, corruption, climate change, and the rampant decline of morality. Issues that I never cared to worry about. For me, it is time to adapt, learn and act quickly.

Coming to the Drishyam movie was enticing, engaging, and thrilling. The script was brilliant and the acting was exceptional. However, I didn’t watch this movie as a spectator, rather, I was living along with George Kutty as I do with my fellow dads in real life. I knew I could do nothing to help him but was certain that he would come out of the quagmire... like any dad would. Dads are superhumans when it comes to their families.

#drishyam2

Suresh Jayaprasad 2/20/2021

Motherhood

 

Motherhood

For when a child is born, a mother is also born

The pain, the anguish and the anxiety

The caring and the nurturance

The never-ending responsibilities

I succumb, I can never be a mother, not even a woman.

Suresh Jayaprasad

Corona times - Quarantine

 

Quarantine days:

Staring at the sky on a cloudy night

I saw a lonely star gaping through

Waiting for the clouds to move on

waiting.. just like me to see my folks

Stuck away in this empty room

I painfully stacked my memories

memories that I wish to hold close

memories that I wish to forget

I fume no more on time or fate

It is time to move on, it is time for hope

All that I wish now is to meet my folks

- Suresh Jayaprasad

Corona Times - Shadow

 

Shadow: 

Who are you, my friend?

Tiptoeing behind... no soul, nobody

I have seen many with empty souls

But no one like you

You get shorter, then longer and then you disappear

You follow me, then you lead me

I tried to talk, but in vain

Who are you, my friend?

I wonder why you follow me and what you want

Are you here to steal my thoughts and memories?

That’s all I have to offer and no one would ever want those

I too am like you, dark and empty

Just want to tell you that the darkness that cast on you is of that light and not from me

You can be with me, but I have nothing to offer

Just my empty thoughts and lost memories

—Suresh Jayaprasad

Artist

Forgone are some ... their land, stories, and culture
Yet it may unfold, rewrap and patch 
By the simplest of the words or with a few strokes of a brush 
Artists... who bring to light what is invisible

- Suresh Jayaprasad

Random Thoughts

 Power:

The essential Indian soul is soft, tolerant, and inclusive. When they see their core values are upended, say by-laws, they ferociously resist. The crooks and the rouges won’t get it, especially when they are in power.

Rape:

The rampant incidents of rape in India portend the continued unraveling of social disorder and denied justice. Whether one calls this police action a Bahubali justice or extrajudicial killing, I prefer to put up with this police highhandedness as justice despite its rankness. Remember, Karma has its own unique trajectory.

Cooking:

Cooking is the art of choosing the right ingredients, treating it with the desired flavors, and coming up with your dish. One's life should be treated the same way. Experiment with different ingredients and flavors until it fits well with you.