How old are you?

I thought of writing this note after watching the movie “How old are you”.
This is a comeback movie of the legendary Malayalam actress, Manju Warrior who had to shun her successful career as she got married to another famous actor Dileep. True to her credentials, she did an awesome performance in this movie.

The movie illustrates the subtle realities a woman has to face as she gets married and puts her focus to build a family. Like any Indian woman, she had to let go of her dreams, submit herself to the daily chores of a housewife with little or no help from her husband.

One specific scene towards the middle of the movie summarizes all that happened to Manju. Her husband unexpectedly announces a dinner plan. With a lot of excitement, Manju accompanied her husband and teenage daughter to the restaurant. Within few minutes after they were seated, the husband asked their daughter to take a walk. Manju, like any mom, nervously turns her head towards where her daughter is going. At that moment, the husband callously announces his and his daughter’s decision to leave her in order to pursue their dreams in Ireland. That was the lowest point in Manju’s life. She suddenly realized that she is no longer wanted in the family. The very thing for which she tirelessly worked all these years faded in front of her eyes.
In the second half of the movie, Manju will rebound to her life. She will quickly realize her setbacks, rediscovers her potential (thanks to her old friend), and start pursuing her long-forgotten dreams. Her husband and daughter will soon realize what they missed while in Ireland. They request her to join them and she refuses. She will pursue her newly found business and become very successful. The movie ends where she finally decides to visit her husband and daughter for a short stay.

You may be wondering why I wrote so much about this movie. The reason I was so moved by this movie is that I saw someone similar at a tender age. She was my next-door neighbor. A 19-year-old girl with vivid dreams of her future was pushed into her marriage like any other girl in those times. She went into a large joint family where her daily dream was to get that day’s work done. Often ignored and unappreciated, she slowly got accustomed to her daily chores. She soon became a mother of 4 boys. She nurtured her kids with great care and hope for a bright future. She got wearied and exhausted. Her brother once visited her and left with tears in his eyes puzzled what happened to his beautiful big sister. She endured all that with one determination in her life. Her kid’s well-being.

The youngest boy was her best friend. He tirelessly helped her to finish her daily chores so that he can cuddle and cajole her. He loved to hear her stories. He consoled her hearing her daily whimpers. He learned to tell jokes to make her happy. He always promised to take care of her.

Did this mom become successful like the heroine in this movie? Did she get rewarded for sacrificing her dreams and spending most of her adult life supporting her family?

Recently, someone asked this mom what made your kids call you every day however busy they are and wherever in the world they are. What makes your children love you so much? She in her natural way smiled and gave no answer.

Long live our moms.